Am I Being Abused?
Typically, abusers become violent or hurtful from their strong desire to have complete control. However, it can sometimes be challenging for people to realize when they are a part of an abusive relationship. Below are some common warning signs of intimate partner violence. If any of this occurs in your relationship or that of someone you know, it is a red flag indicating that the relationship is not entirely healthy.
Does your partner…
- Make you afraid of them?
- Make fun of you in front of your family or friends?
- Put down your accomplishments or goals?
- Make you feel like you can't make decisions?
- Use force or threats to make you do what he/she wants?
- Tell you that you are nothing without him/her?
- Treat you roughly – grab, push, shove or hit you?
- Constantly call or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
- Blame you for how he/she feels or acts?
- Prevent you from doing things you would like?
- Deny your basic needs such as food or medical assistance?
- Call you bad and hurtful names?
- Try to control what you do, who you see, and when?
If any of these warning signs are a part of your relationship, consider calling one of PADV's crisis lines. Click here to learn more about the different kinds of domestic abuse.
If you have been in an abusive relationship, having a safety plan can be crucial. Thoughtfully review what's below and consider calling one of PADV's crisis lines to the right so that our advocates can help you plan. Click Here for a printable personal safety plan.
If you are still with your partner…
- Think of a safe place to go in case there is an argument. Avoid rooms without an exit (i.e., bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (i.e., kitchens).
- Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
- Keep money with you at all times.
- Memorize all important telephone numbers.
- Establish a code word or sign so that family, friends, neighbors, teachers, or coworkers know when to call for help.
- Keep important papers with you, such as social security cards, birth certificates, etc.
- Don't try to argue or reason with your partner, and you can't change your partner's behavior.
- If your partner tries to hit you, protect your face with your hands and arms. If knocked down, curl up in a ball, protecting your head, face, and stomach.
- Back the car in the driveway and keep it filled with gas so that you can easily drive away. Keep the driver's door unlocked.
- Keep your cell phone fully charged.
If you have left your partner…
- Change your phone number.
- Screen your phone calls.
- Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries, or other batterer incidents.
- If the batterer has a key, change the locks.
- Avoid staying home alone.
- Plan ways to get away if your batterer shows up.
- If you have to meet your former partner, do it in public.
- Notify school, work, and childcare contacts that you have left your abusive partner.
- Vary your routine so that the abuser cannot predict your whereabouts fully.
PADV's 24-Hour Crisis Lines
Our crisis lines provide safety planning, information, and support to abuse victims and those with questions about others who may be battered. If you are a domestic violence victim who needs a safe and confidential place to stay, we encourage you to contact us. No woman or man is denied admission to our safe houses based on race, religion, nationality, inability to speak English, immigration status, political affiliation, disability, pregnancy, or sexual orientation. We also do not deny our services based on someone having been involved with another agency. Please call the crisis line nearest you for immediate assistance.
Crisis Line: (404) 873-1766 V/TTY
National Domestic Violence Crisis Lines
If you are in immediate danger or need of emergency assistance, dial 911.
PADV Support Groups
Find the support group that is right for you. PADV offers support groups geared to both survivors and their friends and family. Discover which is right for you today.
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